Learning to Say No

 

I have started and stopped this post more times than I care to share due to a toddler pulling at me, work calling my name or a hungry husband patiently waiting for dinner. Life…this is life as a ‘working’ mother, right? Sigh.

As a parent for a mere 19 months I have just learned how to say no. Like ‘just’ as in two weeks ago. And shit do I wish I learned this earlier. A little back story. I started a creative company, CRE8, that combined all of my previous work experience in to one role. It was a genius idea, so I thought, that would allow me to work while Maximara was in school 2 days a week. I wanted the time I had with her  (MWF) to focus on her and to truly soak in those precious moments that you can never get back: the funny faces, the messes she creates, the artwork she throws together. I wanted to see and feel all of it. But then while she was away at school (TR) I also wanted something that I could focus on that wasn’t just about being a mom. I wanted to keep a part of me alive and I wanted a place to execute my creativity. So CRE8 was born and within a week of launching the jobs started coming in left and right.  Holy shit, I thought. This is amazing! I could not say no to any of the jobs. That’s just who I am. I hustle and I thrive at juggling as many balls in the air as possible (or so I thought). Turns out there is such a thing as taking on way too much at once. Who knew?! By taking on too much and not saying no I ended up giving up more of myself than I was gaining by saying yes. Even while my daughter was screaming for attention (literally and figuratively) I would never turn down an opportunity to help a friend if they needed it or take time out of my day (for free) to give advice to other women entrepreneurs (I like to try and pay-it-forward as much as I can). I literally couldn’t utter the word no to anything or anyone. While in an effort to do what I thought was best for me (more jobs = more money, helping friends and fellow entrepreneurs, etc.) I turned in to a person I didn’t want to be and it actually made life as a parent that much harder. After a 4 day wedding event I planned via CRE8 it became crystal clear what is most important to me. It isn’t the money, it isn’t being the top dog in the creative field, it isn’t being known as the girl that is known for always hustling. It is about being a good mother, friend and wife. It is about enjoying the present moments and just living my best life. So from here on out I will be saying no……..and saying it a lot ; )

 

 

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